Living in a small town means there's never bad traffic.
Now that I've said something positive about my current situation, I can talk real. Living in a small town means everyone you know also works with you. It means that any store, restaurant or moderate convenience that the civilized world has had for years doesn't arrive until it's old. It also means that the anticipation of the arrival of anything new coming to town lasts for months. You haven't seen excited until you've seen local scuttlebutt about a new Bojangles last for months.
It goes without saying that I'd like to permanently leave Small Town, USA. Until then, mini vacations to the nearest town with a Publix have to suffice. My original plan was to catch the Georgia National Fair. Then, this kind of changed my mind:
In an effort to continue my streak of not looking like a creep, I figured I'd catch a movie instead. And with that, my Saturday was booked for Denzel Washington's new thriller The Equalizer". I was relieved to see that he finally stopped doing train movies, so I had to check it out. I hopped in the truck and headed to make the 1PM show. As usual, I was late.
My first thought standing in line: "I wonder if they'll card me?" ....nope. I guess it's good that I don't look 17 anymore (?) but still, I also didn't actually start feeling older until recently. I think most new music is hot garbage and can't understand what kids see when they dress themselves in the morning. Nevertheless, one thing that hasn't changed about me since high school: I loves me a good bargain. I would've been content paying $7.75 to watch No Holds Barred, but that low of a price to see the new Denzel picture was foolishness.
I live life on the cheap. However, I caught a good price on a ticket so it was no thing to throw another dollar or two on some snacks. Failed by 2014 fashion (pockets on slim fit jeans are useless), I couldn't discreetly sneak in a pack of gum, let alone candy or soda. After seeing the concession prices, I'd wish that I had. A small popcorn and Coke was going to set me back $12. No sir. I swallowed my pride, then handed over my grown-man card in exchange for one Kids Snack box: a handful of day-old popcorn, fun sized gummies and two sips of soda they had the nerve to pour into a cup. It cost $5.75.
I made it inside Auditorium #1 right as the movie began. I won't spoil the plot, save for my Facebook review. Even more entertaining was the running commentary and laugh track from the locals sharing the experience with me. Their lack of regard for theater etiquette reminded me of seeing movies with my aunt and sister at the old Magic Johnson Theater in Atlanta.
The patrons were as much a part of the show as the actual movie. The antics of this day's bunch included:
The patrons were as much a part of the show as the actual movie. The antics of this day's bunch included:
- -The aforementioned non-stop laughter that got louder each time a derivation of the f-bomb was dropped
- -The laughter that continued anytime someone was shot
- -An insightful dialogue between a couple behind me that provided context to the film's more complicated scenes. Example: (Bad guy hands someone an envelope of cash)
Girl: ... (suddenly has an ephiphany)... oh!
This lasted two hours.
The conclusion of my lonely personal date was fairly mundane. The movie ended and I went back to my single life in a small town with nothing for people like me. Despite dropping back into this sobering reality, I can take solace in knowing that surviving this season of my life is possible. Actually, it's pretty easy. Mini-vacations give you a much needed break from the binding grind of a regular schedule. Taking time do something fun for yourself, by yourself allows a greater capacity to take in the world around you; laughing at the flaws of your present reality is a fun way to deal with a difficult in-the-meantime circumstance.
