"It should have happened by now."
This, one of "5 Lies Every Twentysomething Needs to Stop Believing" according to Paul Angone, is the tragic phrase that's guided my life since graduation. College taught me a lot of awesome skills and exposed me to new ideas. One thing it failed at, and where it continues to fail today's students, is in indirectly teaching that if you follow a rubric, attain a tangible level of success and plan in far enough in advance it's easy to know exactly when you'll hit your goal. Graduation is just a checkmark on the gold paved road to success.
In the real world, guarantees are replaced by a lot "maybes". If you work hard, use your resources, and perform well... maybe you'll get that cool job. Maybe you'll earn a raise. Maybe you'll find a spouse. Maybe your horrible boss will turn over a new leaf... or just retire. Maybe is a word that's true meaning comes full circle in life. As a child it's a kind hearted substitute for "no. As an idealistic 18-22 year old, it becomes the great ray of hope for eventual triumph. When we enter the workforce, we revert back to childhood and figure out that in many cases, "maybe" turns out to mean "no."
I can work hard to escape the mundane life I feel trapped in, yet still have no assurances of when or even if I'll find a way to break through. This is the biggest punch in the gut I've gotten since entering the workforce. After a recent setback, I wondered what the point of even trying was. After another email wishing me the best of luck in my future endeavors, I got down on my knees, bowed my head to pray and said "Okay, God. I understand. I guess this is the best I'm ever going to get." I don't know anyone who's ever been left at the altar once, yet I feel like I can empathize with someone who's been jilted ten times.
We can't plan out every step of our lives. Frustrating as it is to accept, we won't always (or maybe even ever) get exactly what we want at the precise moment we want it. The "if this, then that" principle works great in an Excel spreadsheet, but life isn't a batch of numbers with precise calculations and probabilities.
College allowed me to thrive in an idealistic setting. I knew that if I studied hard, when graduation rolled around I'd get rewarded with a degree. But when I reflect on those years, it's the process of getting to graduation that I remember most. Scavenging for loose dollars to order chinese with other broke friends, studying hours just to pass an exam, spending hours on a project only to find out (the hard way) why hitting save is so important; it was the struggle that made the payoff worth it. Instantly receiving what I was working for without the long nights and failures would have rendered graduation meaningless. The degree itself means nothing-- it's framed piece of overpriced paper. It's the work behind getting it that means the most. It reminds me that I can get knocked down, yet still manage to get up enough times to see my goals come to fruition.
When we set out to accomplish a dream, struggles along the way will throw us around and tear us down before we rise above the challenges to emerge victorious. Growing frustrated because it hasn't happened yet only robs you of the growth and maturation that come along the way. Don't worry about when the finish will come-- get through everything now to ensure that it will.
