This Sunday, WWE will present the 28th annual Royal Rumble. Each event (first presented as a cable special, then a pay per view and now available via the WWE Network streaming app) is headlined by the Royal Rumble match, a 30 man over-the-tope rope battle royal.
The prize for the winner started as essentially nothing, morphed into bragging rights, was the actual WWF(E) title for a year before settling as a shot at the world championship at Wrestlemania, wrestling's Super Bowl.
The Rumble match stands as a yearly highlight for WWE fans not only because it usually determines the Wrestlemania main event but also because it's also probably the most fun hour of wrestling they'll watch all year. It's all the ridiculousness of the company's over the top production- weird characters, great athleticism, elaborate entrances- packaged neatly into one match.
If you haven't watched wrestling in a while, or ever, the Rumble is the perfect time to get caught up on the year's happenings, or just have a quick one off viewing session. It intentionally competes against nothing (the AFC/NFC championship games are the week before, the Super Bowl the week after) so you can likely DVR anything else you would've watched instead. Should you choose to tune in, here's what to look for.
Who's number one?
WWE logic says that drawing number one is bad luck for obvious reasons: the poor sucker who picks first has to survive the entire match, whereas everyone after entrant #2 can have at least some rest. However, the list of superstars who've kicked off the match is basically an all-star team:
Ric Flair '93
Shawn Michaels '95 (won), '04
Undertaker '08
Rey Mysterio '09
CM Punk '11, '14
Other examples include guys who were lower-tiered at the time (Bret Hart '91, Triple H '96) who would go on to become mega stars. In good Rumble matches, the top draw is either a guy everyone recognizes as a star or is the next man in line for a big promotion to scrapping with the top dogs. The rare exceptions (Crush '97, Rikishi '02) show that when WWE breaks this rule they really break it by nailing it with a sledge hammer, running it over with a Hummer and lighting it on fire... all actions that have coincidentally happened on other wrestling shows over the years.
Prediction for '15: Dean Ambrose is the superstar who'll draw number one. He'll start the match with the second man up, Bray Wyatt.
Prediction for '15: Dean Ambrose is the superstar who'll draw number one. He'll start the match with the second man up, Bray Wyatt.
The non-wrestler/woman/midget entrant
Wrestling, historically, is always welcoming to diversity (*sarcasm*). The Rumble match is no exception, where since Chyna's entry in 1999 we've seen several unusual appearances. Announcers (while calling the match), leprechauns and even Vince McMahon himself have all made their way into the fray. Insiders within wrestling's audience hold the belief that this type of tomfoolery gives McMahon, the eccentric owner both on and off screen, a good laugh. This guarantees at least one odd entry every year.
Prediction for '15: J & J Security, who were actually full-time wrestlers not too long ago but now serve as bumbling lackeys.
The fat guy never wins
You'd think that a big guy would have a noticeable advantage in an athletic competition that involves lifting other combatants over your shoulders and tossing them to the floor, but that's not the case here. With the exception of Yokozuna (600lbs) in 1993, the biggest man in the match has never actually won. That list includes 7-footers Andre the Giant and the Big Show, along with classic fat men of yesteryear like King Kong Bundy, Mabel and the two nameless Squat Team members.
Prediction for '15: Big Show reprises his role. Again.
The class reunion
Some
Prediction for '15: The Philadelphia crowd boos loudly when
Stupid tag teams
Most tag teams (notable exceptions being Legacy in '09 and The New Nexus in '11) decide that the best time to break apart is against 28 other guys in the middle of the Rumble. The wrestling equivalent of friends splitting up in a horror movie, this is quite possibly the worst strategy in the history of all fights. This doesn't only make sense for established teams to try; theoretically any group of Rumble participants could benefit. Just once I'd like to two non-tag wrestlers enter within the first five spots and proceed to pick off 10 consecutive opponents before a big name guy enters and holds his own until things even out. It's one of my big wrestling pet peeves- common sense, or what someone would do if it were real, isn't written into the script often enough.
Prediction for '15: A double take: The getting stale team of Gold/Stardust apply the aforementioned self-defeating tactic and take each other out of the match. Then, Miz and Damien Mizdown team to beatdown a few others before the inevitable spot where Miz gets tossed out and Mizdow (his stunt double) doesn't follow suit.
Kofi Kingston justifying his annual salary in one night
Prediction for '15: Kofi gets an assist from New Day teammate Big E who gives Kofi a piggy back ride into the ring.
Glenn Jacobs: WWE's Madonna
This year marks Rumble number 18 for Glenn Jacobs a.k.a. Issac Yankem, "Diesel", Kane and now... Corporate Kane (creative fatigue?). Always a new look, but still the same guy.
Prediction for '15: Kane enters around 15 and gets rid of a replaceable fan favorite. He hangs around for 12 minutes before one of the recently "fired" superstars, probably Dolph Ziggler, returns to eliminate him.
The guy who cleans house
Sometimes the Rumble lulls itself to the point where you ask yourself "wait, when did 12 guys get in the ring?" In comes WWE's latest star project, one who possesses the prototypical super human height and muscle mass that the company traditionally values in its stars, to clear the ring of your least favorite wrestlers and the absurd thoughts you had of them actually surviving to win.
Prediction for '15: This sequence was made for Rusev. He's not garnered enough cache with the crowd to win the match but has got enough credibility to wipe out a gang of lesser competitors in short order.
The chosen one
Eventually (total run times for the 30-man version of the match has varied from 38 minutes to just over an hour) the last remaining entrant is declared the winner of the Royal Rumble. We've seen WWE fill this spot with up and comers, but the three most recent winners were all well established stars: Batista, John Cena and Sheamus.
This year's Rumble winner could go either way- long standing rumors have the polarizing, company backed Roman Reigns as the favorite, but the surprise return of last year's Wrestlemania headliner Daniel Bryan has some calling him the likely winner. With less than a week to go until showtime, there's still not a consensus as to who'll be the man for this year's show. With WWE likely seeking a substantial increase in subscribers for the WWE Network, don't expect them rely on an unproven commodity to win and co-headline its biggest show of the year.
Prediction for '15: Daniel Bryan wins the Royal Rumble match.
