It's mid-December, which means we're several weeks into non-stop mentions of snowfall, laughter and joy on our favorite radio stations. Christmas is here and with it comes its music that is more like a bad houseguest than a mood setter-- fun, then boring and by week two you wish it'd go away for another 11 months.
1993's A LaFace Family Christmas is the soulful cynic's answer to tired holiday classics. With tracks from TLC and Toni Braxton, it wasn't short on star power. However, the debut of two high school students beginning their multi-platinum rap careers is what really puts this album over the top. It's 90s Atlanta to the tee, which means 37 minutes of a refreshingly unique take on what was an otherwise bland genre. Here are its tracks, ranked.
1. Outkast, Players Ball
Where it all started for two music icons. Big Boi and Dre's first track fully demonstrates the authenticity that made their act wildly successful. Mentions of Greenbriar, Underground and East Point/College Park/Decatur/ the S.W.A.T.S. said "welcome to Atlanta" before other rappers did it in a much less clever way. Their cool nonchalance towards typical holiday traditions was exactly what we should have gotten from southern teenage rappers doing a Christmas song. My personal favorite this time of year.
2. TLC, Sleigh Ride
I imagine this song is what LaFace's brass had in mind when the idea for a Christmas album was first pitched. TLC's version of Sleigh Ride could be the most under-appreciated Christmas song of all time. T-Boz's vocals make you forget how goofy the lyrics are ("ring-ting-ting-a-ling"), while Left Eye's original raps take it beyond cover status.
3. Usher, This Christmas
Knowing that L.A. Reid probably broke ever child labor law to get a 14-year-old Usher to finish this song makes you appreciate it more. It's also one of the better versions of a song that's been covered so many times that it's borderline public domain (FYI, Donny Hathaway did the original). Most likely to be performed in the car by your tone deaf friend.
4. A Few Good Men, Interlude: Christmas is Here
I can't understand why someone hasn't used this in a commercial (no Youtube video, but here's the link on Spotify). I'm buying the rights before K-Mart does and has so much success that people other than my dad actually start shopping there again.
5. A Few Good Men, Silver Bells
Not many frills. Just a souped up version of a classic, but it works really well. Safe to play around your conservative co-workers at the office holiday party.
6. McArthur, Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas
See above. Sounds like they heard Sinatra's version while waiting in line for the Pink Pig at Rich's and said "yeah... but what if one of us sang it?"
7. TLC, All I Want for Christmas
I think they recorded this after they found out their contracts with Pebbles were bogus. TLC's version has nothing to do with Mariah Carey's of the same name which, sorry to say it here, is incomprehensibly better. Left Eye saves this one from falling to the B-side/unreleased version.
8. Toni Braxton, The Christmas Song
I wish they'd have put some sleigh bell noises over Unbreak My Heart instead of settling for this. Not bad, but wastes the incredible talent of Braxton. LaFace co-founder Kenneth "Babyface" Edmonds must have thought the same because he released his own version a few years later. This music's version of Michael Jordan leaving the Wizard's front office to put himself back on the court.
9. A Few Good Men, Merry Christmas My Dear
This is a stereotype of the every R&B song from '92-'95 you've ever heard. All our favorite tropes are there. Started off fine, then somehow turned into a sappy "please take me back" ballad. It even has a bass heavy spoken word part like all songs from this era did (it's bad). An R.Kelly-esque completely random "woo!" is thrown in because 90s. So ridiculous that I want to play it over and over again on Spotify, which is ironically beneficial to all those involved in creating this parody of a black Christmas tune.
Happy Holidays!
